When I first met Frilancy she was newly 22 years young. Now my wife. And we have accumulated a compilation of memories. I get asked a lot if I knew my wife would be African, did I prefer her over another or if this was my type. The answer simply is, no. Before I met her, I had no idea she would be my wife. I did not even question the logic behind our first encounter. Her beauty has always been raw, a magical essence to experience. Even today I am still impressed with how much work goes into the production of this woman getting ready for an event or adventure. The straightener, the wash, rinse, and drying of hair. All this work to showcase this image. An almost European style of beauty influenced way before my time. It has always confused me. “WEAR YOUR NATURAL HAIR!”, this is what I would shout inside my head. I always wondered why someone so beautiful felt the incessant need to go through so much to alter her beauty. I love this woman. I envy her genetics in a playful tone. It boggles my psyche to think a couple centuries, even a millennium of European-Western societies would sort of turn the existence of something so pure and fascinating into taboo. The underlying adversity that existed in my wife’s ability to fully embrace her entire Africaness has created a dark sadness inside of me, outlined by an unexplainable fury. This woman is selfless. She is a hard-working sacrifice to my daily path to success. As society grows, we are seeing a more tolerant tone of people whom are different than the standard to Western beauty. We still see a sort of a compliance response to natural beauty. It still has not reached the national acceptance it deserves. Mainstream fashion and beauty outlets still push Eurocentric norms on our society here in The United States. Wigs, weaves, and all other types of alterations to take away from the true beauty. This sort of mainstream oppression needs to recognize and devalued. As we traveled to the Skagit County Tulip Festival my wife opened up. Almost five years after we met, this was the first time she has felt 100% comfortable expressing herself about the topic of natural hair. She went on to explain how previous relationships always preferred or expected her hair to be a certain standard. It broke me. I never knew these truths. I am enamored by the organic beauty. Straight, wavy, curly, or kinky… I LOVE YOUR HAIR! It is a luxury, a gift from God. To embrace your natural self and eliminate all outside influence is exactly what I try to reinforce in our home. I encourage my wife to live in her most primitive state. I also support her being herself. Whatever makes her feel confident I support, as long as she doesn’t look too crazy. Reject those who deem your standard of beauty to be anything other than your true happiness, you were born the way you should be. Your visibility only matters to you. She is my symbol of beauty. She is my best friend.
Embroidered Shirtdress: Here